Every year I get so excited and wound up for the holidays. I look forward to having my children all home. I am thrilled because I was able to find or make the perfect gift for each and every loved one.
I'm humming carols while stirring my fudge. The house looks warm and cozy dressed in it's finest ribbons and pine.
All of our favorite foods are being prepared.
'This will be our best Christmas EVER!' is always heard at least twice.
So why, please, why are the days and weeks that follow this time so dark and dreary?
Is it because the shiny paper has been ripped away and there are no more secrets or surprises left?
Is it because those loved ones have gone back home and it is so quiet?
Or is it because the little house has been stripped bare of it's wooden cranberries and glittery candles?
The young pine tree having it's few ornaments and red balls yanked off and put into the plastic containers to sit in the dark for another eleven months.
Why am I sitting at my desk on the verge of tears?
Does everyone else go through this as well? I am always hearing that people go through hell over the Holidays. But I've thought it was because they were alone. Or maybe the sufferers are the ones that have lost their Christmas spirit.
My Christmas spirit is in no short supply. Christmas really is my favorite time of year. I have a slate sign used to count down the days till Santa comes. And I usually start it after Halloween!
I don't have any sad thoughts regarding the Holidays...other than missing my parents. I have great memories of family gatherings and traditions from when I was little. And I miss that they don't happen anymore. But is that really enough to cause such a lull during Dec 26 - Mar 9?
March 9th is my birthday by the way. But often my thoughts go to 'Well the snow can leave anytime now that Christmas Eve is over', and 'I can't wait for Spring now!' once the bells stop ringing.
I learned a long time ago from the Grinch that Christmas 'doesn't come from a store'. I have not forgotten that it comes in spite of boxes and tags.
Maybe it's a crash after all the sugar and sweets that are abundant every place you look. Is that possible to have a month-long high and then hit the wall? Possibly.
But should the 'hit' last for weeks? My livingroom door frames used to be lined with Christmas cards from friends & family from all over. Now the price of a stamp keeps my door frame practically naked. It's hard to hang a facebook post on your tree.
I don't know. Maybe this is why so many people want to make New Year's Resolutions. Because once the veil of sugarplums fades away they realize they really aren't happy with the way things are going. The chocolate wrappers are all empty and your remote control helicopter lost a propeller after hitting the ceiling.
Maybe I can look for a Recovering Holly-holics Group. We can all meet up with our half-licked candy canes and new clean socks. I did get bubble bath, bath bombs, funny DVDs that I can use to escape 'real life' as needed. And maybe that's all we really need. Is to get away once in a while.
To freshen up, regroup and come back full force.
I've got a good job to go back to this week where I am valued and appreciated. I have a husband that loves me more than life itself. I have 3 beautiful, healthy children that tell me I have not in fact ruined their lives...yet. We have already reached the point which the days are getting longer. And that is never a bad thing. My truck is old, but she still starts even on the coldest days. I may be a little stuffed after all that turkey...but at least I am not hungry.
My husband just came upstairs into my office and kissed me on my forehead. 'I love you, Doll'.
What more could I possibly ask for?
It's okay to have goals and dreams to reach for, but don't forget to be thankful for everything you already have.