Thursday, August 30, 2012

~Another Summer flies by...

The wind is cooler...the nights are longer...and my sunflower that I did not plant has surpassed all but the roof of the house.

Our summer is over.  Even though we didn't go swimming or do any of the summery things this year...I still enjoyed it.  I worked in my garden, I rested in my hammock, I went for nice long walks.  But as nice as Summer is..or can be...Fall is by far my favorite season.



As soon as the wind picks up, the leaves turn color....I'm filled with the urge to pick apples or bake pies.  Why is that?  All of a sudden I'm thinking of Halloween decorations and freshly sharpened pencils.  Then I get a sudden thrill deep in the pit of my stomach that knows it won't be long till we're counting down the sleeps till Santa comes.
I start to wonder 'what will I make for gifts this year?' 'What do they need?'...the turkey will need basting...

All because of a cool breeze that hits me... in August?

Now I can finally slow down on the watering & weeding part of the gardening.  I will have to look up what I should do with my plants & flowers to help them get through the winter.  I look forward to picking and drying my herbs from the Kitchen garden the most.

Have I mentioned that I planted apple & cherry trees last summer?  Well, I have.  Last year, we got one cherry.  This year, the cherry trees seemed to have died off...yet, they have rampant growth at the bottom of the trunk.  The leaves are the same as were on the tree the year before.  So maybe it's re-growing itself.

My apple trees have done a bit better.  I have apples.  On one tree.  This is not them in the picture.
There were four apples.  Two of them seem to have fallen off over the summer and disappeared.  Now there are two.  So now I have to decide what to do with them.  Apple pie?  Apple crumble?...a tart?  Decisions, decisions...

And of course, now sleeping comes much easier with the cooler nights.  There's nothing better than a cool breeze blowing over your head to make you snuggle down under the duvet.  I haven't had much time in the hammock this year.  So I thought I should try and squeeze in some time before I have to take it down.  I grabbed my book and trotted over to the side yard in my bare feet...quite conscious of what might be in the grass, but nonetheless...stubborn.

As soon as my feet went up into the hammock, it swung to the right.  I swung to the left.  Apparently when I hung it, I didn't lay it right.  Next time I will use a level.  Once I was all stretched out I realized that I would also need to bring a pillow next time..... I opened my book.
 Crack.  Smack.  Thump.
Squirrels...and birds...knocking nuts out of the Butternut tree.  Then there were the screeches and squawking among them over who would get which nut.
~deep breath~

I can do this, I thought.  I've been a mother for 20 years.  I can tune out almost anything and force myself to relax.  After a few times of being distracted, I finally stopped hearing them.  Then Son #1 drops by for a visit.  With Dog #2.  Back from their walk.  He's amiably filling me in on things he's done and interesting facts he read that day.

I smile, I close my eyes...when I open them, he's smiling at me.  Still full of information to share.  I close my book and rise carefully off the hammock.  We walk around the house, up the stairs and through the door.  Amazingly enough he's still talking.  Without a break.  I head to the bathroom, stopping at the door to turn and look at him.  He had to back up a step to keep from bumping into me.

'You're not going to follow me, are you?'
'No,.... I ....wasn't.'
'That's good', I thought, 'cause otherwise this trip is redundant.'

If there's one thing this Mom of 20 years has learned...it's that the bathroom door with a lock is my best friend.  Whether it's a bath, a break or just some peace & quiet....sometimes it seems like that's my only haven.

I'll be out in time to bake that 2-apple pie.

Friday, August 10, 2012

~No Comment!

Ok, I would just like to point out the blatant lack of comments on my Blog posts.  What is the deal?

Is there anyone out there? :-) I know you're reading.  And I would love to see some feedback.  Hear a laugh or two.  Maybe a question?
Ok, not too many questions, but still....I'm sure someone has something to say.  No one keeps quiet anymore.  Especially not me.  I added the feature for comments for a reason.  Please use it.  Come on!  Everyone's got something to say!

Sometimes people can talk and talk and have nothing to say.  Don't you hate that sort of person?  The ones that just go on and on and you start wondering to yourself if they would even realize if you walked away.  Sometimes if I'm wanting to do something else...or I was interrupted from a task...and this person just keeps on talking as if there is all the time in the world....you start to envision punching them in head.  Just for fun...would they stop talking?  or would they continue?

One of the most annoying things in the world (in my world) would have to be someone who breaks into your thoughts while you're reading or writing...like a letter to someone.

And they come along, 'whatcha doin?'
'Reading'
'Writing'
'Watching something'
'Thinking about something'
'Relaxing!'
'Having a BATH!!'
'ENJOYING THE SOLITUDE!!'

'Oh...that's good...well I was just wondering....what do you think I should do about.....which movie would you like to ....I'm bored....did you notice the dog did.....I heard this joke the other day..would you like to.....how about we....I never got around to......wow, you would not believe what happened...'


And all the while you want to peel your eyelids off and throw them at them.  I'm not an unreasonable woman.  I'm well aware of the importance of human contact.  I know children need their parents to listen to their thoughts & dreams.  I'm all for that.

But just once.  Once.  I would like to be able to finish writing a letter, finish reading an article, finish a trip to the bathroom... one movie without a surround sound commentary....a bubble bath....enjoy one moment of silence, without having someone bumble in and break the sound barrier.

Is that too much to ask?!!

~deep breath~

Where was I?.....
oh yes...looking forward to hearing your comments!  Have a great day!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

~Panic on a cellular level

I was one of those people who didn't need a cell phone...would never HAVE a cell phone...couldn't be bothered with having that anchor tethered to me!  I couldn't understand what everyone was all excited about.

Then I got my first cell phone.  I was dating someone who also had a cell phone and wanted to be able to have a private conversation, wherever I was.  I dropped it, I forgot it, I lost it a few times.  Once it was gone for 2 days.  I finally decided to 'call it'.  And no, I didn't say 'Here phoney phoney!'
I called it from my home phone.  Then I had to turn everything off, tell everyone to hush and run around quietly listening for my ring.  Of course each search only lasted 30 seconds before voicemail picked up.  I'm sure that feature had a grand time laughing at me.

It was after the 7th frantic swoop around the house, that I realized the worst possible scenario.  It must be on vibrate.  I would have to wait until dark and hope that I could see the light from it.  Once again, turn off all the lights & anything that made noise, including the kids.  Nothing.  Nothing upstairs, nothing downstairs.  I decided to check the van, once again.  What harm could it do?  I asked one of the kids to call the rogue cell phone once I was outside.  As I was approaching the van, I saw a faint glow in the driveway.  There was a section of snow that was lit up.  Could it be?  I scooped up the snow and there it was.  Alone, cold & shivering.  Two days in the dark (well, not always in the dark) but cold & covered in snow...no wonder I couldn't see it.

Well there, I'd managed to kill my first cell phone.  Nothing worked on it.  Just that one courageous last burst of light to show me the way...then it was gone.  I felt bad.  I had been irresponsible and now someone had suffered for it.  Wait a second, it's just a phone.....isn't it?

After a day of 'drying out' after it's wild adventure, the phone had come back to life.  I was shocked.  But I promised that I would take better care of it...from that day forward.  I took it with me everywhere.  It slept on the nightstand next to my bed.  And if I left to go somewhere without it, I turned around and went back as soon as I realized.  It was my new best friend.

I am now on my second cell phone.  This one has also been through hell and back with me.  But it's worked when I needed it.  But it's old.  I see everyone else with their iphone and blackberry, taking pictures & uploading them to the internet with one button, chatting with friends & making fancy plans...mapping out their important lives.  I WANT AN IPHONE! ~pant, pant~

No, no...I don't need an iphone.  That's too much.  I don't need all those fancy features.  But I would like something new.  Something that allows me to call anyone I want, whenever I want.  That's my most important thing.  I was tired of having a good conversation with someone only to see a $40 charge for that call added to my bill.  I needed something bigger...I needed Unlimited Canada-wide Long Distance.

So I went to town, shopped for phones...looking at everything available, I decided on an HTC android with Koodo as my carrier.  It provided me with a $50 Walmart gift card to buy some new sneakers.  I was happy.  Then when I got home, certain features didn't work.  I could only get signal in certain parts of the house.  I took it back.

My daughter suggested I go with her carrier, Fido.  So I looked online to see what phones they had.  The only one that really caught my eye was the LG Optimus.  I anxiously awaited it's arrival in the mail.  Finally it arrived.  I was blown away.  Big gorgeous touch-screen.  It took beautiful pictures, I entered everyone into my contact list from my old phone.  And gave everyone their own personal ring-tone.  I was able to download extremely cool ringtones off of a website for the Android phones.  Songs, quotes, particular voices to suit everyone's personality...I even found one that says, 'This is your work calling, you probably don't want to answer'.

I transferred all my numbers & info to my new phone.  And by day two when I knew for sure I was keeping the new one, I deleted everything of mine from the old phone and handed it over to my sons.  They were going to take care of it now.  Together.

I was thrilled!  It had excellent sound quality and I got service in every inch of our house, even outside.  Then on the second day....the touch screen stopped working and my fantasy was over.  My perfect phone was sitting by the door in a bag waiting for the guy in the big brown truck to take it away.  I was sure the phone felt like an adopted child that was being sent away for bad behaviour.  I tried not to think about it.

Now it has been seven days since I last saw my phone.  I know it won't be coming back.  It will be a new phone.  And I do so want this one to be just as perfect.  Because now I know I am hooked.  And I fully understand what all the excitement is about.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

~Day #2 of my Captivity

I had my sneakers on and tied.  It was a beautiful day outside.  The birds were singing.  We've finally been getting the rain we so badly needed.  The dogs were all leashed up and ready to go.  Walking out the door I inhaled the fresh warm air.  Down the steps.  Flanked by my two strapping young boys, who are now both much taller than me, I thought to myself life couldn't get any better than this.

As I rounded the corner to walk between my driveway border garden and my truck, I admired my flowers.  The brilliant colors, the pretty petals, the new flower with the dark brown centre contrasting with the bright yellow petals, the bright yellow stripe on the back of the snake.  I let out a blood-curdling scream and ran to the end of the driveway.  To the boys amusement, I completely lost my mind for the next three minutes.  I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stand still, I kept swatting at parts of my body that felt as though something was crawling on it.

Nothing made sense anymore.  I wasn't happy about anything.  I couldn't hear the birds sing, nor see the sun shine.  It was all gone.  And I would have to move from my lovely home.  I would never be able to walk barefoot around my yard again.  Leisurely picking weeds on my hands and knees.  All the best parts of my sanctuary were now far away.

Once I could think clearly again, I heard the boys saying 'Let's go for the walk'.
And I thought, 'Good idea, the further away from the house, the better!'

But as we walked, the conversation turned to where the snake was now.  Just before we walked away, I looked back and he was no longer there.  I couldn't see him anywhere.
'Maybe he's gone into the house,' one of my former sons suggested.
'Yeah, he may have crawled up into your truck, Mom,' the other traitor implied.

So now I've lost my truck too?  All in a matter of minutes?
Life can be so cruel.

As ridiculous as this sounds, my only clear thought was to get back to the house.  And get inside.  I would lock the door.  Snakes can't get through a locked door.
Can they?

The boys had to resume the walk for the dogs.
'Good idea, Mom!' one of them shouted...'You go back with the snake!....'
'Yeah...keep an eye on him, Mom!'

Mom?  Why were these two complete strangers calling me Mom...I wondered.
I stepped very heavily on my way back to the house.  Slamming my feet into the pavement would scare away anything on the ground.  While keeping the rest of my body as far away from the ground as possible.  Even my arms were up.  Between steps it was almost as if I was flying.
'This is good,' I thought, 'he'll never catch me now..'

I didn't dare look toward the garden.  If he was back there, I didn't want to know.
'But what if he's somewhere else? Wouldn't I want to know where he is?'
So I started turning my head searching for the yellow stripe.  I could still hear muffled shouts coming from the lost boys.
Whatever they said made me run faster.  I made a wide circle around my poor truck, who had likely been overtaken in my absence.  I would miss her the most.  Realizing I couldn't go too far around the truck without getting into dangerous territory of grass.  Damn the tall grass!

Why hadn't we cut the grass since it started raining again?!  Damn the rain, Damn the drought, Damn the lawnmower....damn it all.  Once I reached the house I was never coming out again anyway.  I had lots of pictures to remember how pretty it all was.

There was now grass & weeds growing between the rocks in the pathway.  I don't remember them being that tall.  What is that on my NECK?!
Hair...just hair!  I slapped at my arms & legs again...batting away invisible monsters.

I would have to leap over the strips of grass between the steps...grass just tall enough to aid and abet a legless fugitive.  I realized at once that I had been speaking the whole time, nonsensical gibberish just to keep from hearing the grass move.  I wondered what I would be able to bring to my new rubber room.  Definitely my books.  I would need to read.  Or I would go insane.

At last!  I reached the steps.  Thump, thump, thump, thump!  I was up them in less than a second.  Without looking back, I tore open the door and flung myself inside.  I brushed every part of my body to make sure nothing had come in with me.  Kicking off my shoes, I went straight for the kitchen and my chocolate.

It was a nice world outside.  While it lasted.  I really used to enjoy my gardening.  What a rich fantasy life I led for that two years.  Two years, believing that I was in a safe place.
It's like I always say.  Safety is an illusion.
Trust no one.
Especially the man that tells you a house in the country is a snake-free zone.

*PLEASE NOTE THERE ARE NO IMAGES IN THIS POST ON PURPOSE - I CANNOT LOOK AT A PICTURE OF A YOU-KNOW-WHAT WITHOUT LIFTING MY FEET OFF THE FLOOR*