Thursday, May 31, 2012

Damn the Lilac Bush

For the last two years I’ve heard nothing but complaints from Goose about the lilac bushes. They’re too big! They’re in the wrong spots! They smell too much! They make my allergies worse! They’re staring at me! And then finally …They need to go!

One day about a month ago, we were working out in the yard. It was a Saturday I believe. He walked past me with an axe in his hand and a look in his eye. I knew he was up to something. I paid no attention and continued on with my weeding.

Then I heard it. Whack! Whack! WHACK!!

The lilac bush on the side of the house was no match for Goose with his axe. It was a blunt cut through the trunk and he chopped off the larger branches just for good measure.

I watched him triumphantly carry the carcass to the top of Mount Crumpit to dumpit. (for the non-Jim Carrey fans, it was around behind the garage)

When I finished with all my yard & garden jobs I realized that I hadn’t seen Goose for awhile. Had the lilac bush gotten it’s revenge?
Was he lying in a heap behind the garage??
Was he tangled up in the roots and unable to MOVE?
 TRYING TO CALL FOR HE….oh no, there he is.

And he’s still smiling. What IS he up to?
‘Stay over there!’ was all I heard.

‘Do NOT come behind the garage.’
So I didn’t. I stacked wood. (ok, I really didn’t stack wood, but it sounds like a helpful wife, doesn’t it?) So in the middle of my ahem…stacking…he came over & said he wanted to show me something.
I was amazed! While in the storage shed, he had found my bathroom sink that I had bought for my last house and never got to install it. Last year I had an idea to make it into a birdbath, standing it on top of a tree trunk that Goose had also cut down. Hmm…I’m beginning to see a pattern here.

Anyway, my idea didn’t fly…since it fell over and broke when the ground thawed this Spring.
However, this new idea found my sink all crack-sealed & cradled in the remaining branches of the lilac tree. After Goose’s suggestion, we used grapevine to weave in and out of the branches to create a beautiful bird’s nest spa & bath. When it was finished, he decided he would dig a hole and stand it in it. I chose a spot next to the oval garden in the front yard.

We could not get over how lovely it looked. I kept using the word ‘amazing’ over and over. I could not believe that he had thought of this. A man. And I mean no disrespect whatsoever. But I have never come across a man quite so creative as this one. I’m a lucky woman. Luckily he does NOT read my blogs.

The next day we came out to take pictures of the new Bird’s Nest Spa (sounds a bit French don’t you think?) :-)

Goose thought he noticed more leaves on the tree than yesterday.
‘No! It must be your imagination.’
‘Yeah, you’re right.’
Two weeks later, the lilac tree was in full bloom of beautiful purple flowers. And Goose is sneezing into his sleeve.
Guess the damned lilac got his revenge after all…..

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Running out of ideas?

I have one question….

Have you been to the movies lately?

Goose & I make a point of having a date night each week. We usually go out for dinner or grab something quick and catch a movie at the local theatre. For a while last year it was going well. We thoroughly enjoyed everything about our time alone.

Then one night we arrived at the theatre and there was only one movie playing. We usually get to choose between two of them. So we took a chance, as we had nothing else to do with our evening.

We spent more time looking at each other wondering if the other was going to be sick or not. The only laughs were at the end when we both blurted out at the same time, ‘Well there’s 2 hours of my life I’ll never get back!’

In the past year, we’ve seen probably 20-30 movies (rentals, theatres, drive-in) and I can honestly say I can count on one hand how many I actually said, ‘Wow! that was good!’
There was one movie that was so bad, we ended up entertaining ourselves by making fun of it. Quietly of course, we were in the theatre after all.

What is happening? Are the movie people truly running out of ideas? Shouldn’t they maybe stop doing it instead of continuing to put out ‘crap’? We tend now to stay home and watch movies from our DVD collection, which include our favorites from the last 20-40 years. How many times have we said, ‘They just don’t make movies like they used to.’ ?

Once in a while they do try to re-make a movie…but that is very tricky. Like trying to change Grandma’s apple pie recipe to update it. It might be better, but not likely and you’ll just piss Grandma off.

Maybe some new ideas will come, but it seems like they’ve made a movie about pretty much everything you can think of…from time-travelling aliens, baseball legends and the first woman of drag racing to a man that controls his life with a remote control and a group of high school boys that make a pact to lose their virginity before graduation.

Will something new come out? Something fresh that will knock the popcorn out of our laps? Who knows….

The fact is…we live in smalltown Canada….with not alot of options for date nights. Eating out. Bowling. Movies.
That seems to cover it all. 

So for now….we’ll keep giving the movie industry a chance. It gives us a night out of the house. No kids, no dogs, telephones. And who doesn’t like buttery theatre popcorn?

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Breakfast Blog

So I’m just coming off a 7 day cleanse…and how do I celebrate it?

By going to Dairy Queen of course. Yes I am aware I am lactose intolerant. Yes I am aware I spent a week ridding my body of toxins and that I probably added a day’s worth back in. But I deserved it….didn’t I?

I’ve often wondered why we bother doing diets….to make ourselves more healthy, lose weight, fit into that new little dress….all the while we’re watching over our shoulders as someone dips their cookie into a big vat of chocolate as we’re being dragged away kicking & screaming…

For 7 days, I got up in the morning and had a shake for breakfast. In it was a sweet sandy powder, my fruit juice and usually a banana or some strawberries. Drink water. If I was still hungry I could always have more fruit. Then for lunch I had another sandy shake with more fruit. Drink water. If I was still hungry, fruit. Two hours after each meal if I could always indulge in 3 or 4 raw almonds (which I don’t mind, normally) For supper, I was allowed a healthy meal of fish or broiled chicken with fresh or steamed vegetables. Drink more water.

No dessert….which I am so programmed to have I thought I would surely die. However, I even survived ‘date night’ with the sweetie. It was an odd feeling, I remember thinking that I would barely be able to concentrate on the movie with him crunching buttery popcorn in my ear. But I made it…and without giving in to the tiny rubbermaid container in my purse carrying the raw almonds.

On the 4th day, the cleanse program kicked up a notch with a different shake powder. Green. At first I thought the color would be the only difference. I was wrong. The taste was much more powerful. And I was to use double the amount of the first flavor shake.

As I choked down the new ogre shake, trying not to make eye contact with the color…I had no idea that the color would show up in another inconspicuous area…during another morning ritual.

On the bright side, I did notice after half-way through the week that my face looked thinner and my clothes fit a little less snug. So was it all worth it? I can’t see my internal organs to see if they are running more smoothly or with less interference. I do feel better, but perhaps that is only psychological, knowing that I’ve helped my body in some way.

I do however know that I was very excited to wake up today and eat normally. It’s a wonder I slept! Back to my normal breakfast…

fruit :-)
...oh well….once a leopard…